Another night, another thought.

I cannot say that I do not love life. I, for once, have control in everything I do. Every single decision I take, every single action I make. I am an adult now. It was a rough awakening in the beginning. It still is sometimes but for the most part, I have things under control. I wanna believe I do. Every single thing is perfect. In reality nothing is perfect, but to me it fits the point where I could care less about perfection. I'm just content with how things are. Things could always be A LOT better. But I'm not complaining for once. I really am not. I am ok with how things are going.
This blog seems all positive. But who said it was all suppose to be about negativity?

I'm just ok with life at the moment. For how long? for as long as I can make things last. For as long as I give it my 100%. And I can't wait for the day to be surrounded by such warmth and joy like I did before. To be able to fall asleep with a smile on my face. To wake up with another smile.

Fall is finally here, summer is long gone for good.. at least for another 3 seasons. I have finally seen the foggy nights while coming home from work. Listening to Portishead now seems even more fitting and it makes sense. And soon, just soon...

I never wanted time to fly by but now I do, for now I do.

3am coffee and happiness.

*(The picture to the right was taken on my walk the last Friday but I didn't feel like posting it. Not yet anyway).

I'm starting to think I write for the sake of it. Just to keep my thoughts alive, don't really have another reason. I doubt anyone but Creo and the other "follower" Roihu read this. Some just glance through it for a second or two, just like I've done before in the past on other sites. I read, I feel, and it's not enough to keep my head in peace. I'm tired of wondering and wandering for so long. 

I'm not even sure if what I write is more than worthless lines that mean nothing but a waste of time to people that bother to come look at this blog.

I write, I dislike, I delete and then start over again.

I keep trying to make a good post, to make something worthy of your time.

In hope that you'll understand I do too have something to share.

Not just a dumb rant about a lonely day... even if that was all that I had.

I read a few lines from other blog earlier tonight and then I wondered why do some people neglect what they have and yet believe they have nothing... that made me realize I have done so too in the past and still keep doing it to some extent.

I felt like a hypocrite and with no right to judge.

I apologize.

The few lines I've managed to write so far seem like a rant rather than a good use of space.

I didn't even try to make it look that way because I'm not mad or sad.

I'm ok with myself at the moment... listening to Hypomanie and waiting for an email about a picture I worked on Photoshop today.

But that's just another story for some other day.