Another night, another thought.

I cannot say that I do not love life. I, for once, have control in everything I do. Every single decision I take, every single action I make. I am an adult now. It was a rough awakening in the beginning. It still is sometimes but for the most part, I have things under control. I wanna believe I do. Every single thing is perfect. In reality nothing is perfect, but to me it fits the point where I could care less about perfection. I'm just content with how things are. Things could always be A LOT better. But I'm not complaining for once. I really am not. I am ok with how things are going.
This blog seems all positive. But who said it was all suppose to be about negativity?

I'm just ok with life at the moment. For how long? for as long as I can make things last. For as long as I give it my 100%. And I can't wait for the day to be surrounded by such warmth and joy like I did before. To be able to fall asleep with a smile on my face. To wake up with another smile.

Fall is finally here, summer is long gone for good.. at least for another 3 seasons. I have finally seen the foggy nights while coming home from work. Listening to Portishead now seems even more fitting and it makes sense. And soon, just soon...

I never wanted time to fly by but now I do, for now I do.

Just a thought.

I haven't really had the chance to sit down and write down my thoughts. Not for a while anyway. My time is usually being spent most of the time at work. The days of playing video games most of the time are gone. I no longer have the pleasure of seeing the sunset for most of the week, seeing as I go in at work at 6 for most of the time. It's been a change of pace, a different world, but for the most part it's helped me mature a little. My biggest complaint would be that I don't seem to enjoy music as much as I used to before. Why do I no longer buy records on the mail anymore? Why has the passion for buying vinyl and cassettes disappeared? Am I losing that passion? Am I just old and boring now? Why do I even bother writing this?

It's way too late to be writing this anyway. I'm sure nobody is going to stumble on this blog. Not that I care about that to begin with. But now I'm just wondering about who will read it. Oh well that's what insomnia does to someone at night. No sleep unconsciously made me think foolish things.

I wonder what I wanna do later on after work, probably nothing but the gym. I must get my old shape back, and why is that? because there's some deadly elbows out there that I must face sometime in the near future... And I will win. I wanna believe I will.

But for now, this is all. It's time for me to get some sleep.

Words of wisdom.... Yes?

To be "pretentious," grandiose, to remain faithful to an impossible goal, to stay in contact with one's own desire and follow through with its consequences, unsure of what they will be ... to be real. That's what it is to live, I think.

Sick!

It hasn't been 6 months and here I am, once again, sick!
I hate it.
I got nothing new to say, other than the weekend went fairly well.
Bike riding at night is the best.

1:20am tea and solitude.

I've been neglecting blogger. I forgot about my account on here and that's not good.
Tumblr doesn't really appeal to me. It's just not what I need in order to blog about whatever it is I need/want to rant about.

It rained this past weekend really hard. It was rather lovely.
We had a 6hr power outage. It was actually good because that gave me the chance to appreciate the rain for what it is... beauty.
I wish life was far more interesting in my end but it really isn't so this update sucks to be honest.

All I can do is share the rain falling down... but even that sucks cuz I couldn't capture the rain...

Well this is it for now...

1am Euphoria and warm coffee.

Windy night, oh how cold you are.
Alone with my thoughts.
Music that brightens the day... or night either way.
Youth pictures in C major
Oh the joy :)
and the sadness :/
but it's all connected in the end!
Running down to the nearest soda stand
Grabbed a coke to get a piece of happiness.
And played Hypomanie to make the taste of coke double up its happiness
The closing eyes along the midnight smile vanished by the 12:38 am tears.
A coke failed to deliver its promise.

Morning wind and unsweetened coffee.

Sleep is just not here... oh such joy
Sleeping patterns are all fucked but that's ok, I have shoegaze for lonely nights.
If only the wind was a lot colder.
It'd be lovely for once.
Where is the cloud architect?
The sun shines a bit too much and the heat is unbearable.
My mind is too tired to think things straight at the moment.
I must sleep now... until next time!